Instead of firing employee, manager demands that they resign and offers a good reference in exchange, employee claims: ‘I don't know if I can trust her’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 26, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

People get fired every day, but how many people get told by their manager to quit their jobs instead?

We have all grown quite accustomed to the idea that we can lose our jobs at any given moment. All it takes are three words from our boss, and we are packing up our desks and updating our resumes in order to find our next source of income. That is the way of life, and we all know it. Some people can recognize the signs better and prepare for the day they are being let go. If they plan it right, they can already have a few interviews lined up. They just have to be attentive and aware of their surroundings and of their boss's mood every day. 

Despite knowing that your job is at risk every single day, most of us don't think about that on a daily basis. We go through the motions of our routine,  and if something were to change, well, we'll deal with it when we get there.

When something so unexpected happens, like what occurred in this story, it might not be as easy to get back on the horse and find ourselves all over again.

The employee below has been working at their job since May, and for months they thought they were doing a good job. Their team lead kept praising them, telling them they were doing exceptional work and their performance was at the top of its game. After a few months at the job, the ground suddenly shifted beneath the employee's feet. The team lead started singing a different tune and telling them that they might not be a good fit for the job after all.

But here's the kicker: the team lead is not going to fire the employee. Instead, she wants them to quit themselves. Her approach to this mess is that if she fires the employee, she would have to be honest about it if any prospective employer calls her for a reference. But if the employee resigns, she can give a good reference and leave out the reason the employee "decided" to leave in the first place.

Fair? We'll let you judge for yourselves…

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  • An employee sitting in front of a laptop.
    via Ali Barzgar

    An employee sitting in front of a laptop.

    Subject is a model.

  • Team Leader told me to resign in exchange for a good reference or risk termination. What are my rights and what should I be doing?

    Context: I am currently working a customer service role in a finance based company and currently in probation. So far I thought I was doing okay with the role. I
    via odecco
  • passed QA in May (when I started) and June and unfortunately failed my July QA. During the first months, I didn't really get any formal feedback or PIP or any warnings or disciplinary action.
    via odecco
  • My TL just kept saying my customer service skills were exceptional but I have a financial knowledge gap. The role was advertised as no
    via odecco
  • Cheezburger Image 10650400768
    via odecco
  • She said she thinks I am really exceptional in customer service and that I am very coachable, she just doesn't see me as a good fit. Anyways she
    via odecco
  • told me she does see potential in me in other fields and wanted to refer me to an agency on her reference.
    via odecco
  • Cheezburger Image 10650402560
    via odecco
  • Woman working at desk.
    via Zulfugar Karimov

    Woman working at desk.

    Subject is a model.

  • She admitted that we are both in trouble. She said that because she wasn't honest with me about my performance in the last few months, there is no paper trail
    via odecco
  • about coaching or warnings. She said she spoke to HR and that the company is thinking of going "a different" direction. I just bluntly asked if I am going to be terminated,
    via odecco
  • why would she want me to resign. She said that logically if I get fired, she will need to be honest and won't be able to be a good reference to a prospective employer.
    via odecco
  • I get what she means but the thing is that if I do resign now, since they pay monthly in advance I won't be paid, I will only be paid leave accrued and
    via odecco
  • I would prob have to wait more than 8 weeks before I am eligible for Centrelink. She said that I can trust her and she promises that she will be my reference and that I will be
    via odecco
  • fine. I told her not really because while I have savings, I don't know how well I can sustain myself without any income for a indefinite time.
    via odecco
  • She can't guarantee me a new role, just a reference. I am well aware clearly something dodgy is going on behind the scenes. I am trying to weigh the pros and cons of
    via odecco
  • just resigning or waiting for the company to just terminate my contract along with notice. I haven't been in a spot like this and I don't know if I can trust this manager based on
    via odecco
  • her admitting she was dishonest about my performance to the point that HR is breathing down her neck. I know my days in this
    via odecco
  • Cheezburger Image 10650405632
    via odecco
  • LillyLugabugs Probation, they don't need a reason. Take the reference or ride it out
    via LillyLugabugs
  • born2land_hard Take the reference and leave
    via born2land_hard
  • Sufficient-Rooster-7 Others probably have a lot more to say, but from my end: Everything in writing.
    via Sufficient-Rooster-7

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Tags

boss workplace-stories employee fired hr manager job tales-from-the-workplace team lead workplace company quitting
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